Snow White and the Dark Knight
Dr. Whinestein: Best you forget about your little prince, Snow White.
Snow White: Why should I do that? I do so worry about him. Perhaps he has met with some ill fate.
Dr. Whinestein: You could say that. He’s fallen into something of a deep sleep.
Snow White: No, I’m the one who fell into a deep sleep. And his kiss awakened me. It brought me to life. Truly it did.
Dr. Whinestein: You need to get out more. Live a little. Surely you’re much too young to settle down. Get out more! Date different guys. Have a few flings. And get yourself a career!
Snow White: A career, flings? What could you be talking about? I am Snow White and now I am Queen. A Queen must have a King besides her just as a King must find his Queen. Why is that so difficult for you to understand? It is completely natural.
Dr. Whinestein: Natural. Natural is what the birds and the bees are up to. You are a little quaint, honey. Behind the times. You’re a nice looking little girl. I think you could get somewere in Hollywood. I know some people there. Could set you up for a few interviews. But ya gotta loosen up a little. And god knows, you need a tan.
Snow White: I’m quite sure I don’t know what you mean. Why should I go out in the dark wood especially as the evening draws close. It would be quite dangerous. I have a lovely castle where the fire burns bright in the Great Hall on a stormy night. I just miss my prince.
Dr. Whinestein: My, my my, careful with that pronoun. It’s a little too possessive. He’s not your prince. Maybe he’s no prince at all. I’ve heard some stories. I’m not going to repeat them, but anyway.
I do think Transactional Therapy would help you to see things a little differently. And for you my little princess, a special price, 300 shillings a session, a talk session lasting an hour. There are other specialties including Gender Role Re-assessment, Coping with Career Pressures, Finding a Mensche in a Goy World - I guess that one wouldn’t apply to you - and Multi-orgasmic Sex in 25 Seconds or Less.
Snow White: If I am not mistaken, you want me to give you a bag of coins, a large bag at at that, to listen to you talk. It is a peculiar idea, is it not? Why here we simply invite one into the Great Hall to share a feast and a cup of mead and well, you can talk all night should you wish. But you must be a great bard if you wish to keep us captivated into the long night.
And I can tell you, your peculiar tongue would not hold many for long. You do wish me to learn your tongue, do you not?
Dr. Whinestein: In a manner of speaking. I guess you could say that. Talk,talk, talk, yeah it’s about talking.
At this very moment a young page bursts into the room and the room suddenly fills up with the sound of trumpets.
Young Page: The Prince has been seen with all his men on yonder hill.
The Queen jumps up quite forgetting the dark knight, and runs out of the room to greet her prince.